Thunder Thursday What does vision mean to you? Where do you see yourself in ten years, from now? Happy, thriving, living out your dream? Where were you 10 years ago? I remember exactly where I was, I was emotionally and physically depleted, I knew what I wanted; I was too afraid to try. What if I fail? What if I never move forward? My health started to deteriorate at an alarming rate.
My home was in disarray and to be quite honest, I just could not get through a single day without fear. I’ve been a Christian my entire adult life, I really had no reason to be afraid, but there was something missing in my life.
I wore my friends and family out with depressing stories, I wondered if the joy that I had been searching for would ever become a reality, my reality. I loved God and I knew I had more to give, I started journaling again, asking myself hard questions. Why was I doing that job, that course and many other things? Why did I believe that bad things would happen? What was I really afraid of? I was settling for less, in every area of my life. Now I’m not talking about a high-maintenance life and doing whatever I want. I am talking about friendships, work, clients. I hated the job I was in, my business was failing, I was so unhappy and did nothing about it.
FOR YEARS. I started to say to myself, “One day you will wake up with a smile on your face.” “One day you will be paid well for what you do.” “One day you will be surrounded by people that celebrate you.” So I took some steps, I realised that I had become a negative person, because of guilt and depression and I really needed some space.
This conversation went on for three to four years, I spoke to friends, colleagues, I eventually gave up my full time job and thought about a new pathway. I was afraid to let familiar things go because I was worried I couldn’t do any better or get any further. Some friends walked away and stayed away, some friends supported me and we are better friends now. My home became more of a priority (again), once I started journaling, having difficult conversations with people and taking time out for counselling, I started to like myself again.
The way I felt as a child... JOY I knew God loved me, but I was also very aware that if Jesus really died for me, which I believe He did, it wasn’t for me to live every day out in fear and anger and depression. So fast forward 10 years on, my home is buzzing with life and jo, I’ve created a lifestyle that I am proud of AND I wake up with a smile on my face and my husband and I usually fall asleep laughing.
My vision, now, in 2020, is do for as many mums as possible, exactly, if not more, what was done for me.
This was a dream that I had many many years ago, I cannot sell my dreams to you and I really don’t want to.
What I do want, is to share with you what I did every step of the way so that if you are in a place emotionally, financially, spiritually that you really do not want to be in, change starts now.
Is my life perfect now?
What she said, "No."
Am I happy, smiling, healthy, at peace?
Do want more joy in your life?
Are you making time for the things that you love?
How do we bring about change?
First few steps Get a notebook What is making you feel sad? What keeps bringing you joy?
Next few steps Where do you want to be within the next year? What would cause that leap of joy in your heart? Butterflies in your stomach?
Peace of mind?
Next few steps Get professional help Speak to your loved ones. Do you have toxic friends? Gently (I didn’t get that right, back then) explain to them that you are having a hard time and you will need some space. The ones that love, will respect that. Thunder Thursday means you begin to live out your dream each day, one step at a time or at least dream about it again and again and again. No limits.
I’m with you all of the way.
Each Mum | Reach Mum | Teach Mum
Faith, hope and love, Lulu xx